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Allira Potter on single life & hot date ideas – with a twist!

After the ex-hubby and I split up, I set about living my best life. Whatever I wanted to do, I went out and did it. I partied. I had random hook-ups. And it was exactly what I wanted to be doing.

 

Being single for the first time in my life, I was so excited to get onto the dating apps. It was totally new territory for me and I thought it was going to be amazing. What I didn’t realise, though, was that my kind, caring, beautiful ex-husband was not a good example of what most guys would be like on those apps… I had no idea there would be so many fuckboys. I didn’t even know fuckboys were a thing!

 

To be fair, a lot of people have found their partners, husbands and wives on dating apps, too, and I’m so here for that – I love hearing those stories. But my own early experiences were pretty intense, and I actually found that I felt quite vulnerable. I lasted maybe a month or two before I realised that if I wanted to make this a positive space for myself, I needed to work out what I wanted from those apps. I had to think about why I was on them in the first place and what my intention was. Casual hook-ups? Love? A lot of people on the apps just want sex and that’s totally okay – in fact, it’s awesome! But I felt that, to bring myself into that space authentically – no matter what I was looking for – I had to get really honest with myself about why I was on there and what I was hoping to get out of it.

 

Remember, everything is energy – so before you sign up and start swiping, decide if the return on the energy you put in is going to be worth it.

Dating yourself

After meeting people – either online or out in the world – and going on a few dates, you might find you need to come back to yourself a little bit. That’s definitely what happened to me. I had a lot of fun but when I started going out on dates and seeing people, I realised that I really needed to spend some time with myself. I needed space to heal from the breakup. Even though it had been perfectly amicable, I needed to learn to be me again.

 

A hot date with... you!

Consider this your friendly reminder that you do not need anyone else to go out and have fun. You can 100 per cent date YOU (you might even get to know yourself a little better). So what kinds of things can you do? Literally anything you would do with a plus-one! Experiencing life solo is not only okay – it’s amazing! It might be uncomfortable at first, but if you just dive in, that discomfort will ease, and you will grow and learn.

  • Go and see a new movie (and get all the popcorn to yourself).
  • Take yourself out for brunch (bottomless mimosas optional).
  • Grab a coffee (have here, not takeaway) and watch the world go by.
  • Check out the new local dumpling/Italian/toastie restaurant.
  • Travel. Take a road trip for one or book an epic overseas holiday to anywhere you want to go!
  • Take a good book to the park and have a bougie little picnic for one.
  • Most of all, embrace this time for yourself while you have it!
Wild & Witchy

A Guide to Self-love, Manifestation and Spiritual Sassiness

By Allira Potter

Manifesting queen, star of The Bridge and co-host of Mamamia’s Fill My Cup podcast Allira Potter has devised a 'guidebook' for life that will allow readers to bring in their most abundant life ever.

Imagine your dream life. Who are you with? What are you doing? How do you feel?

If you’re ready to call in everything you ever wanted, from a new lover to your perfect job, manifesting queen Allira Potter knows the secret to creating an abundant AF life.

Growing up with a single mum who worked multiple jobs to keep the family afloat, Allira started out with nothing. When she lost her mum at just 17, her life became a wild ride of ups and downs. Married by 22 and divorced five years later, she then navigated mental health issues, financial insecurity, substance abuse and hitting rock bottom... until she came across a deck of oracle cards her mum had left her.

That was the day everything changed.

In a few short years, Allira turned it all around, harnessing the power of manifestation to curate the life of her dreams. In Wild & Witchy, she shares her journey and how you, too, can work through loss and grief, build unbreakable self-worth, learn to love every bit of yourself and identify your values. In this ‘guidebook for life’, written in Allira’s trademark unapologetic, no-f*cks-given style, you’ll find tasks, tools, techniques and a few witchy rituals to help you bring in your most abundant life ever.

‘[The cover art is] inspired by the flowering gum trees that blossom in the spring and summer time, usually there are a variety of colours including soft and vibrant pink tones. This piece is a reflection of the joy the bush brings to me over the warmer months. The dot work reflects the blossoms, cheerfully opening up and saying hello on Country.’ – Cover artist Shanai Kellett @ Malogaart

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