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When Skies Are Gray

A Grieving Mother's Lullaby

Published by She Writes Press
Distributed by Simon & Schuster

About The Book

Lindsey Henke is freshly married and a newly practicing psychotherapist when she finds out she is pregnant with her first child. Nine months later, on a cold Minnesota night in December 2012, after a perfect pregnancy, Lindsey goes into labor—only to be told upon arrival at the hospital that her baby has no heartbeat.

After the stillbirth of her daughter, Lindsey grapples with the unbearable agony of losing a child. Unprepared to cope with a sorrow this deep, she uses the only tools she has—her skills as a therapist—to plot her own path through grief. Over the next year and half, as Lindsey mourns the loss of one child while simultaneously trying to hold space for the joy of expecting another baby, she learns that grief can live side by side with joy.

When Skies Are Gray offers a poignant message to any mother who is grieving: Your pain is real. The sharp ache of the grief you feel will soften over time, though your love for the child you lost will always remain. And it’s okay to feel that love; it’s a mother’s love, and like lullabies, a mother’s love never dies.

About The Author

Lindsey M. Henke is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in the grief that accompanies life transitions. She founded Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS), a nonprofit for parents pregnant after a previous perinatal loss or infant death. Her writing has been featured on TODAY.com and in Pregnancy and Newborn magazine, Huffington Post, and the New York Times. Lindsey enjoys hiking with her two living children and husband. She lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where during winter she can usually be found with her nose in a book.

Product Details

  • Publisher: She Writes Press (May 21, 2024)
  • Length: 320 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781647426316

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Raves and Reviews

“Author Lindsey M. Henke has crafted a compelling and heart-wrenching memoir that feels as if I’m sitting with a close friend who is baring her soul . . . a courageous and compassionate exploration of an often silent struggle, providing solace and understanding to those who have experienced similar loss.”
Readers’ Favorite, 5-star review

When Skies Are Gray is a beautiful memoir about a mother’s love for her children, despite the unpredictability and heartbreak that is associated with motherhood more often than we like to think. With candor, Lindsey Henke takes us on a journey of joy and grief, showing us how life, and particularly motherhood, is often lived between the two.”
—Jenny Albers, author of Courageously Expecting: 30 Days of Encouragement for Pregnancy After Loss

“As both a therapist and a mother, Lindsey has a unique perspective on grief and loss that is invaluable. Reading of her journey through the highs and lows of pregnancy, motherhood, and grief, we’re given a window into the soul of a bereaved mother. Sentimental without being cloying, this memoir offers humor and honesty about how even for therapists, the path to healing is not a straight line.”
—Amanda Ross-White, author of Joy at the End of the Rainbow: A Guide to Pregnancy After Loss

When Skies Are Gray is an essential memoir for bereaved parents. In this visceral and visual account, Lindsey Henke shares her experience of pregnancy, loss, and healing. She captures the duality of life, its joys and sorrows, in this authentic, lyrical, and heartfelt story. Sprinkled with wit and wisdom on every page, this honest memoir feels like coffee with a friend. When Skies Are Gray is an invaluable companion on the unpredictable path of motherhood.”
—Alexis Marie Chute, author of the award-winning memoir Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing, and Pregnancy After Loss

“This book is a must-read and a must-gift for anyone who has suffered loss or has loved someone who has. Lindsey’s words are so thoughtful, so poignant, so carefully placed on the page. She gently takes the reader by the hand and doesn’t just show them the way through grief, but walks with them. Lindsey, and her writing, are truly a gift.”
—Galit Breen, codirector of Listen to Your Mother Twin Cities

When Skies are Gray is a powerful story sharing the loss of a baby and the struggle of living on. Written with grace and vivid descriptions of the journey of the loss of Nora, Henke shares her climb back into a life that will never be the same alongside her continued bond and attachment to Nora. Although written mainly for bereaved parents, this book can provide helpful insight to health care providers' understanding of parental grief. I am privileged to endorse this book.”
—Joann O’Leary, PhD, prenatal parent-infant specialist and author of Meeting the Needs of Parents Pregnant and Parenting After Loss

When Skies Are Gray gracefully balances love, grief, joy, and the intimate connection of mother and child. Lindsey’s memoir remarkably encapsulates navigating a life one never would’ve chosen while simultaneously demonstrating the beauty that remains. What an honor it is to bear witness to this deep, expanding love of motherhood, the excruciating grasp of grief, and the strength of a mother’s love.”
—Amie Lands, author of Navigating the Unknown, Our Only Time, Perfectly Imperfect Family, and the Tending to Your Heart series

“Through When Skies Are Gray, Lindsey cracks wide open the stigma that parental grief and bereavement are topics avoided in the ‘mommy-verse.’ The reality is not every mother leaves the maternity ward with a healthy newborn. Not every birth story can be wrapped up in a perfect pink or blue bow. But through Lindsey’s words, you'll find there is beauty in talking about the sad stories, too. Her love for her daughter Nora lives on through each and every page.”
—Jane Chertoff, former editor of Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine

“Through raw and authentic storytelling, Henke skillfully presents the interplay of grief, joy, and the resilience of the human spirit. When Skies are Gray immerses readers in a world where emotions are vivid and palpable, capturing the profound complexities of love, loss, and finding love again. A beacon of hope in the literature of grief, this memoir not only breaks your heart but also mends it, teaching us that even amidst the most profound loss, love can still find us.”
—Alexa Bigwarfe, author of Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother

“Sincere, heartfelt, and real, Henke's memoir is grief and love woven together, inextricably. Her wisely chosen and descriptive reflections belong to each bereaved parent, and all who support them.”
—Amy Wright Glenn, founder and director of the Institute for the Study of Birth, Breath, and Death and author of Holding Space

“A compelling memoir about the loss of a baby and the love that lives on after death. Lindsey Henke brings beauty and lightness to even the darkest moments of a bereaved mother’s broken heart. When Skies Are Gray grapples with the what if’s and deep longings that come with baby loss, and shows a mother learning to live in a world that feels disorienting and wrong. If you are a bereaved mother, you will feel seen and comforted, and if you love a bereaved mother, you will gain a glimpse into her deep grief in this breathtaking book.”
—Anna Whiston-Donaldson, New York Times best-selling author of Rare Bird: A Memoir of Love and Loss

“Full of bravery, wisdom, and insight, When Skies Are Gray is a tender retelling of resilience. My heart ached and tears flowed as Lindsey welcomed me, as both a reader and a friend, into her invisible motherhood. As her exquisite words wove her tender tale, it became abundantly clear that while Nora’s life may have ended in death, her story is still alive, inviting us to embrace our vulnerability. While every reader may not know the loss of a child, Lindsey’s words offer something to us all.”
—Rachel Lewis, author of Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss

“Deeply moving, When Skies Are Gray is a testament to the fierce power of a parent’s love—a force unbreakable even in death. A sterling new addition to the babyloss library, Lindsey Henke’s candid account of loss, despair, hope, and healing should be required reading for the newly bereft. Not to miss!”
—Samantha Durante Banerjee, founder and executive director of PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy

When Skies Are Gray comes from Lindsey’s unique viewpoint, grounded in her own experience as both a grieving mother and therapist whose knowledge couldn’t prepare her for the unfathomable loss she experienced. She examines the paradox of learning through study and practice versus true knowledge and hard-earned wisdom she gained by living through her own grief journey. Bereaved parents reading this memoir and those who have not experienced this loss personally will find her story illuminating while also learning strategies for navigating life and pregnancy after loss.”
—Kiley Krekorian Hanish, founder of Return to Zero Center for Healing

“Lindsey has turned her grief story into an exquisite and moving love story about being a bereaved mother yearning for what should have been while she learns to embrace what is. This poignant memoir contributes to the social movement of destigmatizing grief by reminding us that grief is just love.”
—Dr. Jessica Zucker, psychologist and author of I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, a Movement

“A wholehearted, accessible memoir that expresses the depths of grief around stillbirth, along with the possibility of renewal.”
—Emma Nadler, psychotherapist and author of The Unlikely Village of Eden

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