Introduction

Imagine having a partner who says that she couldn’t possibly have a better lover than you, that she can’t wait for you to come home each day.

Imagine being in a relationship that is exciting, sexy and emotionally nurturing; being able to make love as long as you want, as many times as you like, at any age, and knowing absolutely that you can satisfy your partner – not just physically, but on every level of being – body, heart and soul.

Imagine continuing to explore and create together fulfilling and profound lovemaking experiences; continuing to grow and bond with more intimacy, loving feelings and communication. Imagine feeling more pleasure, with deeper, stronger orgasms for you and your partner.

Lovemaking that will bring more love, joy and pleasure into your life is possible.

Held within these pages are secrets and practices that will turn this dream into reality, secrets you will treasure for a lifetime. I have no doubt about it because the secrets I share in this book are not theoretical, they are practices that my wife Diane and I have developed through actual experience of working successfully with thousands of people over many years. I am not suggesting or wanting to suggest that by reading this book everything will be rosy and that you’ll have no problems with your partner any more. I’ve been married for over twenty years and we have three children, I know what difficulties arise! However, I’ve also invested many years of my life on a full time basis finding out what practices work in different situations and what it takes to sustain love and sexual passion with the same woman over and over again. There is an old proverb, ‘Blessed is the man who has found his work and one woman to love’.

This book is for any man of any age who wants to be an extraordinary lover. A man feels ten feet tall when he knows he can satisfy a woman and the skills you learn from this book will give you the expertise to do exactly that!
Much of a man’s self-image is tied up with how good he is in bed. Every man wants to be good in bed. For my father’s generation that was relatively easy. It was easy to screw; anybody could do it. You just moved in and out until you felt an explosion of energy. That’s all there was to it. The only challenge was to find a willing partner.
In the 1960s, during my elder brother’s era, everything changed. Men began to realise that their pleasure in sex was magnified when their partners were also experiencing a great amount of pleasure. They realised that in order to be good lovers they needed to warm up their partner with lots of foreplay. Men were challenged to get women to orgasm. However, there wasn’t a lot of pressure on them to succeed because throughout the previous two thousand years, women’s sexuality had been suppressed. It was common for women to be uncomfortable with their sexuality and to have difficulty reaching orgasm. If it happened, that was great, but if it didn’t, it wasn’t such a big deal because it was accepted that ‘good girls don’t do it anyway’. So lovemaking was still mostly about his pleasure.

Today, however, being a good lover is more challenging than it has ever been. Women have moved through a transformation. A woman today doesn’t want just sex, she wants great sex, which includes physical and emotional nourishment.

Many men go into lovemaking concerned that they won’t be able to meet their partner’s needs. I would suggest that what we must do as self-aware men is work with our partners as team-mates in continuing to support and nourish this opening of their sexuality. One of the best ways we can do this is by becoming extraordinary lovers.

I believe that there is a ‘new man’ in the world today, one who wants to experience sex at its full potential, who desires to make love in such a way that it opens the door to the greatest joy for his loved one and himself, and fulfils his deepest yearnings. This new, aware man realises the importance of learning about love, sex and relationship. He is strongly conscious of the centrality of these matters in his life, and he wants to learn all there is about lovemaking. Yet there is very little good education available on how to become a good lover. And contrary to what the ego would have us men believe, we are not born naturally good at lovemaking. I am not talking about intercourse. Anyone can do that. I’m talking about learning how to make love so that you can nourish a woman on every level of her being – body, heart and soul; so that she not only experiences levels of physical pleasure beyond anything she has ever experienced before, but also has a deep feeling of love in her heart and experiences an ecstasy that transcends her sense of time, space and thought.

The secrets in this book will give you the knowledge, skills and practices to be able to achieve that with your partner – to be an extraordinary lover. Every woman wants her man to know these secrets. Once you nourish a woman on this level, your relationship will reach new depths of love and new heights of ecstasy. The benefits of knowing these secrets are not only that you nourish your partner’s sexuality better than any other man can, but that you learn how to access higher states of pleasure yourself.