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Ride or Die

Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir

Published by SparkPress
Distributed by Simon & Schuster

About The Book

Modern society has a warped sense of the partner-caregiver role, especially for men. Too often, men are ill equipped to handle switching from provider to caregiver, and the “just suck it up” advice so many offer up falls as flat as the Kansas prairie in the face of the reality of life and death.

Ride or Die takes its audience through the intimate conversations and thoughts of a Gen-X latchkey-generation husband—a man who has always had to fend for himself and believed that it’s up to him to solve his own problems—as and after his wife, Jane, succumbs to a terminal disease.

Jarie Bolander wrote this raw, heartfelt tribute to Jane and her handling of her illness to help men and the people who love them through the experience of loss and grief. A frank chronicle of how an intimate relationship can change and grow—even when the people involved feel there is nothing left to give—Ride or Die offers a detailed exploration of the male experience of grief, in the hopes that others suffering through it will not feel so alone.

About The Author

Jarie Bolander caught the startup bug right after graduating from San Jose State University in 1995 with a degree in electrical engineering. With 6 startups, 7.75 books, and 10 patents under his belt, his experience runs the gamut from semiconductors to life sciences to nonprofits. He also hosts a podcast called The Entrepreneur Ethos, which is based on his last book by the same name. When he’s not helping clients convert a concept to a viable strategy, he can be found on the Jiu-Jitsu mat (he’s a blue belt), interviewing entrepreneurs on his podcast, or researching the latest in earthship construction techniques. He’s engaged to a wonderful woman named Minerva, her daughter, and their Bernedoodle, Sage. Currently, Jarie lives and works in San Francisco, where he works as head of market strategy for Decision Counsel, a B2B growth consulting firm.

Product Details

  • Publisher: SparkPress (September 5, 2023)
  • Length: 256 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781684632114

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Raves and Reviews

2023 Best Book Awards Finalist in Self-Help: Relationships
2023 Living Now Book Awards Bronze Medalist in Relationships/Marriage


“The courage it took to share this story of love and loss is an incredible testament to the bond Jarie and Jane shared which I was so fortunate to witness. This book honors Jane’s memory in a way that will bring comfort and guidance to others experiencing similar tragedies.”
—London N. Breed, San Francisco Mayor

“A deft recollection that brings the journeys of both a patient and a caregiver into focus.”
—Kirkus Reviews

“. . . an intimate glimpse into what it’s like for a man’s man to feel grief, and express that grief; and perhaps most importantly, deal with that grief to go on to live a fulfilling life.”
—BookLife Reviews

“The prose is thoughtful about making use of contemporary images and figurative language to render leukemia and chemotherapy real . . . Powerful and distinctive, the memoir Ride or Die covers a couple’s struggle with terminal leukemia.”
—Foreword Clarion

"Ride or Die is an emotional read in which Jarie Bolander opens his heart to us. . . . appreciated Jarie's appealing writing style with occasional self-irony and the grains of wisdom he shares.
—Readers' Favroite (5 STARS)

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