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How to Be Dateable

The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love

By Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu

About The Book
Does dating feel like an endless maze with no way out? Break free from the traps of modern dating and learn how to take control of your love life in this actionable, compassionate guide that will help you find your person and become your most dateable self.

As creators and hosts of the hit dating podcast Dateable, Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu have made breaking down the nuances of the ever-evolving dating world, and empowering the people within it, their purpose and passion. Drawing on a decade’s worth of research from speaking to thousands of daters and world-renowned experts, Julie and Yue have come to realize that everyone is dateable—it’s just the modern dating norms that keep us from falling in love.

Contrary to other dating books, How to Be Dateable isn’t a playbook of rules to follow or methods to hack your love life. But it will help you identify your dating strong suits and what’s getting in your way.

To personalize your reading experience, start off with a quiz that reveals your dating archetype (are you an Achiever, Dreamer, Energizer, Maverick, or Thinker?). Then, you’ll learn how to break free from the traps that continue to get in your way (The Expectation of Love on Demand, Settling Paradox, Validation Trap, and Relationship Chicken) and how to clear your path to love. Within the book, there are case studies, personal anecdotes, exercises, and self-assuring mantras designed to help you understand your core strengths, date on your terms, and find the relationship that’s right for you.

Written with the knowledge of experts and the warmth of a wise best friend, How to Be Dateable will help you create a dating life filled with joy, fulfillment, extraordinary connections, and love.

About The Authors
Joseph Gabriel Ilustrisimo
Julie Krafchick

Julie Krafchick is an expert on dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world with a background in human-centered design. She’s the co-creator and host of Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by The New York Times, HuffPost, Oprah Daily, and more. She’s also the executive producer and co-host of the dating experiment show Exit Interview. From working in the Silicon Valley tech scene for almost two decades, Julie has learned how technology impacts human interactions as a trained qualitative researcher and app designer. Frustrated by dating at the time, she created the app 500 Brunches to facilitate more organic, in-person meetings for friends and dates, which grew into a thriving community (and was also how Julie and Yue met and developed Dateable). Julie resides in San Francisco and is originally from Boston.

Joseph Gabriel Ilustrisimo
Yue Xu

Yue Xu is a dating and relationship thought leader, and an on-air personality focused on wellness, tech, and human connection. She’s the co-creator and host of Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by The New York Times, HuffPost, Oprah Daily, and more. She’s also the executive producer and co-host of the dating experiment show Exit Interview. Yue started her career as a dating coach and vlogger in New York City, working with clients all over the world. Her vlog Singlefied, was featured on AskMen, Match, New York Post, Coffee Meets Bagel, The Times (London), the BBC, and more. She is a TV host and producer for shows TechtheLead, The Gadget Show UK, and The Gadget Show China, and has appeared on MTV, AMC, Discovery, and NBC. Yue lives in Los Angeles with her dog Mojo.

Product Details
  • Publisher: S&S/Simon Element (April 16, 2025)
  • Length: 336 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781668030424

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Raves and Reviews

“Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu are the real deal when it comes to dating experts. Their big-sister style advice is just what we need in an age where dating has never sucked harder. They cut right to the core of the dating malaise that has plagued millennials and gen Z since the invention of the dating app. How to be Dateable is warm and thoughtful and the antidote to dating fatigue.” -Greg Behrendt, coauthor of the NYT bestselling He's Just Not That Into You

“How to Be Dateable demonstrates clearly that you already have all the tools that you need to date successfully. This book will simply help you unlock them. A must-read for anyone hoping to find their person.”— Mark Groves: Human Connection Specialist, Author, Speaker, Coach, Podcast Host and Founder of Create The Love

"An empowering read to help you find your person." — Logan Ury, author of How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

Given the complexities and challenges of today’s modern dating landscape, confidence in dating skills is a must. With concrete tips and real-world examples, How To Be Dateabledelivers on their promise to “stop falling for the traps” and “start falling in love.” – Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, faculty at Northwestern University, bestselling author of Love Every Day, and host of the podcast, Reimagining Love

"Julie and Yue are fiercely intelligent, warm-hearted chroniclers of the path to love. In How To Be Dateable, you won’t find glib answers or gimmicky advice; instead, you’ll find real wisdom, game-changing insights, and tools that actually work. I’m so grateful that their book is out in the world. I can’t recommend it highly enough." -Ken Page, LCSW, psychotherapist, host of the Deeper Dating Podcast, and author of the best selling book Deeper Dating

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How to Be Dateable

The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love

By Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu