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Table of Contents
About The Book
• Explores the dynamics of the mind and how it sets the stage for distress
• Explains how mental states of suffering are created and how to control your mind to stop those thought patterns and assumptions
Most of us believe that suffering is inevitable. Stress, shame, depression, grief, loneliness, disappointment, the feeling that life is incomplete—every negative experience contributes to the emotional and psychological pain that impedes our ability to live happy, fulfilling lives. But what if most suffering could be avoided? Is there an antidote to inner turmoil that can be learned and applied to everyday life?
In this groundbreaking work, Peter Ralston reveals how to free yourself from mentally created suffering. He explains how most creatures don’t experience suffering the way we do. They don’t worry or fret, fear the future, or imagine they are somehow flawed or less than they should be. Exploring the dynamics of the mind that set the stage for distress and that get us into trouble, he explains how mental states of suffering are created, how to recognize when you cause them, and how to stop suffering-inducing thought patterns and beliefs.
Sharing contemplative practices and exercises to help you end your inner turmoil and foster growth, awareness, and freedom, Ralston provides an empowering way to create a more complete, powerful, and peaceful life experience.
Excerpt
CONCEPTS HELD AS IF THEY ARE OBJECTIVE REALITY
When something is held to be true or real—existing outside of our imagination—we hold it in a different category than something that’s known to be just a concept. In the hierarchy of perceptions, we relegate abstract ideas to a lower rung of importance than objective reality. We may not like what the bus driver thinks about us, but we’ll be sure to get out of the way of the bus.
Experience tells us we need to take that solid objectivity seriously. Even if we had the belief or fantasy that we could fly, when the bus bears down and flying isn’t an option, we will jump aside instead. We respect the uncompromising aspects of objective reality, yet often blur the line of distinction between it and our mental activities. In so doing, each of us frequently perceives an idea as if it were a self-evident truth.
For example, someone might imagine that sex is somehow evil, or that his political party embodies the only correct view of human relations, or that her religion defines the nature of reality, or that some belief system has the only real description of the universe, or any number of notions, many of which are far too subtle or ingrained to easily recognize. But all of these are simply concepts that are believed to be representative of what’s objectively true. And they aren’t.
We stand just as firmly on many assumptions about ourselves. When someone says that he is worthless, we may know clearly that he is not, but for him, this self-description is a fact of his existence. The assumptions surrounding this "truth" are so ingrained in him that he can’t see it as merely a powerful concept that influences his every thought and action. This trap makes what is only imagined in our minds seem like something objectively so.
Such a distinction is significant because what we can and can’t do in relation to objects is different from what we can and can’t do in relation to concepts. For example, if you have no legs, there is little you can do to change that. Pretending you have legs doesn’t improve your running skills. If you think you are bad or stupid, clumsy or worthless, and that these assessments exist in the same category as having no legs, then you are just as stuck with them as you would be with a wheelchair. Although they are only assumptions that you’ve adopted or been trained to believe, they are deeply programmed and are perceived as if they are permanent traits. On the other hand, if you truly realize that these attributes are conceptual in nature, immediately you will experience the possibility that you can change them or get free of them altogether.
Shifting your self-concept in some way does indeed change your perception of yourself—but if this is something you desire, it’s ineffective to rush ahead without a proper foundation. Such a change is rarely easy because our presumptions run deep, not just personally but culturally. Our self-views are based on conceptual fabrications that are deeply rooted in the values, beliefs, and assumptions of our social structure, culture, and personal history. We observe that cultures don’t seem to change overnight and we observe the same thing about individuals.
The beliefs upon which self and culture stand are not easily recognized, nor are they easily discarded once we identify them. Remember that both culture and self are created in much the same way—they’re the products of many foundation assumptions. These assumptions—accepting particular ideas to such a degree that they become taken-for-granted realities—give structure to our lives. They are the backdrop for our sense of self and reality, and they offer what seems like solid ground in a world of uncertainty. We may benefit from such structure but we need to recognize that our assumptions are also responsible for most of the limitations and suffering that we experience. What generally goes unnoticed is that they are not facts but merely beliefs and conceptual inventions, and since they are conceptual in nature, they are not necessary in and of themselves.
SUGGESTIONS FOR CONTEMPLATION
Objectification of Concepts
Look into your experience and try to discover anything you hold as real and solid that is actually conceptual. Keep looking into what is generally overlooked and see how much of your experience is conceptually produced.
Some of it might seem self-evident or obvious and considered just an aspect of your life or self or your reality, but look deeply. Are they concepts or are they objects? It might be hard to accept or discern, yet if something you experience isn’t objective in nature it is conceptual—no matter how real or solid it seems.
Concentrate on everything in your experience that seems experiential or objective but is actually conceptual. All beliefs, assumptions, interpretations, conclusions, meaning, memories, plans, speculations, extrapolations, ideals, comparisons, good and bad, are conceptual. Regardless of what you think is necessary, get that they are concepts not objects or even experiences.
Concepts, such as beliefs and assumptions, can seem as if they are objectively so, even when they aren’t. There are many seemingly real and objective "perceptions" that are actually concepts or are strongly influenced by concept. This is true on many levels and can be very subtle, as we’ll see in the next chapter.
OVERLOOKED CONCEPTUAL INFLUENCES ON EXPERIENCE
To press more deeply into the workings of mind, let’s consider how easily concept gets infused and confused with experience and even perceptions. There are many conceptual influences on our experience and perceptions. Some are very subtle and go unnoticed. Let me clarify by starting with a simple exercise.
Image Exercise
To better see this influence, right now take a moment to turn your head from side to side, looking left and then right. What perception gives you the impression that you’re moving your head? You can feel your head turning, and your visual field changes, seeing what’s to your left and your right.
Now close your eyes and do it again, turn your head from side to side, and notice that you can only feel your head moving. But do you also have an image of your head moving, as though you can "see" your head moving or what it looks like as it moves? Try this with your eyes closed and see what happens, then come back to the book.
The image of your head moving when you have your eyes closed is a concept, not a perception. Since you can’t actually see your head moving, you are translating the feeling-sensations into an image and conceptually adding this to your "perception." Fascinating, isn’t it?
We mix such images and other conceptual contributions with our perceptive-experience all the time, but we don’t notice that they aren’t perceptions. Instead, they are conceptual in nature. Just as with our beliefs, all conceptual-activities—thoughts, ideas, speculations, imagination, and much more—influence our sense of reality without our knowing it. Consider how the sensation of turning your head is augmented with a conceptual "image" of that activity. That same interconnectedness between concept and perception is how our beliefs become fused with our perceptions.
If our goal is to free ourselves of the conceptual-activities that create suffering, such a dynamic would obviously need to be sorted out. Since beliefs, assumptions, programming, and speculation are all based on "imagined truths," their influence on our perceptions only muddy the waters.
Perhaps our complex conceptual and social worlds necessitate some blend of concept and perception in order to effectively manage life. This still doesn’t mean that the concepts we engage are the healthiest or most effective, or that they are based on fact. This fusion of concepts with perceptions leaves a lot of room for unnecessary and binding fabrications to influence our experience and cause suffering.
What’s more, such conceptual influence makes it difficult to discern fact from fiction. In order to align to what’s actually occurring, we need to learn to make a distinction between the bare facts—what happened, was said, was done, what is objectively so—and all that is conceptually added to the facts—stories, beliefs, excuses, justifications, meaning, assumptions, suspicions, fantasies, and so on. Gaining clarity here will create a more effective relationship to life.
Product Details
- Publisher: Park Street Press (March 4, 2025)
- Length: 256 pages
- ISBN13: 9798888501191
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Raves and Reviews
“Peter Ralston has created a mighty tome that clearly lays out why we suffer, the mechanics behind our suffering, and solutions that we can actually use to end our personal suffering. The practices offered bring us to awareness, and that is a beautiful doorway to freedom from pain and freedom from suffering. In a day and age when we can experience many difficulties just by living life, Ending Unnecessary Suffering is a gift to us all.”
– Selina Maitreya, spiritual teacher and author of Raise Your Frequency, Transform Your Life
“Ralston has clearly outlined the cause of unnecessary suffering, which is the distinction between concept and experience. Concept separates us from experience, and this separation, he explains, is a major cause of suffering that is internally created. Experience is in the here and now and is closer to a state of being that doesn’t add to the limitations of concept that leads to suffering. He offers practices to move from understanding to a functional state of experience. There is much in this book to help you become a person who lives from experience if you follow the process he presents.”
– Robert Nadeau, Aikido 8th Dan Shihan
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