Chapter 4

The Forgiving Heart

In cultivating a forgiving heart, we make way for monumental growth. There is an inordinate amount of energy taken up by maintaining attitudes of shame, anger, and resentment. When released from these cycles, your energy and your heart are liberated. By focusing on forgiveness we do not forget that someone has hurt us, we merely choose to center our perception on love.

Stones of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not a judgmental process. To decide that someone’s hurtful actions are in need of absolution is predicated upon a myth of separation, and it perpetuates disconnection. Sincere forgiveness places its emphasis on the core of an individual rather than his or her actions. Forgiving is an act of heart-centered love, not mind-centered intellect.

The crystals presented below help us to find forgiveness during emotional upheaval. Some are gentler than others, and a few stones have a more pronounced inward focus. Forgiveness has only one mechanism, which is choosing to remember only love. However, this mechanism can be employed in many ways. It might mean remembering that when your parents were hard on you it was because they loved you, not because you weren’t worthy of love. Forgiveness could also mean that when your loved ones act out, they are just as terrified and lonely in this world as anyone else; they merely want to be seen and loved.

Practicing forgiveness means opening to compassion in its most heartfelt and tangible form. Authentic grace is a divine tool, but the hearts of human beings are the vessels through which it is enacted in the world.

Chrysoprase

Chrysoprase is green chalcedony, a form of massive quartz. Its color is owed to traces of nickel. Although the translucent, apple-green chrysoprase is the most coveted variety, it can range from pale to dark shades of green. This gem occurs in Australia, Brazil, Germany, Poland, Russia, and the United States.

Chrysoprase is valued as a balancing force, helping to bring stability and overall health to the physical, mental, and emotional levels of your being. Modern crystal healing associates it with overcoming negative cycles; its energy provides the catalyst to break free from patterns connected to sadness, greed, and self-destructive behaviors.

Chrysoprase is the ultimate healer of the broken heart. The fine-grained structure of chrysoprase is tenacious and stable; this gemstone plants these qualities within the heart and nurses the emotional center back to health after heartbreak. It is an ideal stone for scrubbing away vestiges of abusive, codependent, or otherwise toxic relationships.

After loss and conflict, the light innate to chrysoprase helps you find your way in the midst of despair. It fosters trust and a sense of security, which enable you to return to living and loving after loss. By lessening the intensity of heartache and jealousy, this gemstone causes the wounds of the heart to recede. Among the heart healers, chrysoprase may be the only stone whose mission entails rebuilding self-esteem in the wake of heartbreak.

To move beyond the pain of a broken heart, forgiveness must factor into your recovery plan. Although forgiving past partners is never an excuse of poor behavior, it does allow you to move on with your life. Chrysoprase can help you to identify selfish, egotistical motives in yourself and others so that you can counter them with grace and surrender to Spirit. This green stone strengthens your resolve to forgive and move onward.

Since the days of ancient lore, chrysoprase has been used as a tonic for the eyes and vision. A trait shared with most green stones in the ancient world, chrysoprase aids more than physical sight. Like the lesson from the fox in Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s The Little Prince, chrysoprase enables you to see the world anew: “Only with the heart does one see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eyes.” This gemstone opens the heart to seeing rightly. When our hearts are open enough to see, the world is full of wonders unimaginable to the eyes.

Finding Forgiveness

Select one of the preceding stones of forgiveness that most closely matches a situation you would like to resolve.

Begin by closing your eyes and holding your chosen crystal in your non-dominant hand as you contemplate your healing opportunity. With as much clarity as possible, picture why and what it is that you need to forgive. As you do so, allow any hidden emotions to rise to the surface and pay close attention to any physical sensations connected to them. You may find a sensation of anxiety or disgust translating to discomfort around the stomach. Perhaps fear or anger causes your heart to hasten or hurt, whereas sadness might rear its head as tightness in the throat or coldness in your limbs.

Wherever these physical sensations arise, move your forgiveness stone to that area of the body. As you breathe in, visualize the energy of the stone bathing the area; picture it dissolving and dissipating the negative emotions. Repeat “I forgive _____ for _____,” silently or aloud as you hold the crystal.

When the physical sensations subside and your emotions settle, move the gemstone to your heart. Focus on sending love and gratitude to the recipient of your forgiveness. Recognize that he or she played a part in your life so you could learn to forgive; affirm your sincere gratitude for this. Be sure to include yourself in your forgiveness and gratitude, lest your compassion be incomplete.

It may be necessary to repeat this exercise several times to achieve lasting results. Carrying your forgiveness stone with you daily can serve as a reminder to consciously and compassionately endeavor to forgive wherever you are.