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Api's Berlin Diaries

My Quest to Understand My Grandfather's Nazi Past

Published by She Writes Press
Distributed by Simon & Schuster

About The Book

A haunting personal story of Berlin at the end of the Third Reich—and an unflinching investigation into a family’s Nazi past

When Gabrielle Robinson found her grandfather’s Berlin diaries, hidden behind books in her mother’s Vienna apartment, she made a shocking discovery—her beloved Api had been a Nazi.

The entries record his daily struggle to survive in a Berlin that was 90% destroyed. Near collapse himself Api, a doctor, tried to help the wounded and dying in nightmarish medical cellars without cots, water or light. The dead were stacked in the rubble outside.

Searching to understand why her grandfather had joined the Nazi party, Robinson retraces his steps in the Berlin of the 21st century. She reflects on German guilt, political responsibility, and facing the past. But she also remembers Api, who had given her a loving home in those cold and hungry post-war years.

“This a must read for anyone interested in the German experience during WWII”
—Ariana Neumann, author of When Time Stopped


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About The Author

Gabrielle was born in Berlin in 1942, her father was shot down and killed in 1943, and after losing their apartment in the bombings, in February 1945 her mother and herself fled the city. This was the beginning of many migrations. It is no wonder that Gabrielle is fascinated with the impact of history on our lives. An English professor with a PhD from the University of London, author of eight books and over forty articles, her work focuses on how the upheavals of history shape our lives. Gabrielle has won a number of awards for her writing and community engagement. Discover more at gabriellerobinson.com.

Product Details

  • Publisher: She Writes Press (September 14, 2020)
  • Length: 344 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781647420048

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Raves and Reviews

2021 Nautilus Book Awards: Memoir & Personal Journey, Silver Winner


2021 Eric Hoffer Awards: Finalist
Eric Hoffer Montaigne Medal Finalist
2021 Next Generation Indie Book Awards Finalist
Nonfiction Authors Association: Bronze

“As a record of post-war tribulation, Api’s Berlin Diaries is a poignant social history; as a search for an elusive, multifaceted grandfather, it’s a fascinating labyrinth.”
Foreword Reviews, 5/5 stars

Api’s Berlin Diaries is Gabrielle Robinson’s love letter to her German grandfather, based on the diary he kept at the end of World War II while he was separated from his family. It is also a reckoning with her grandfather’s complicated history as a member of the Nazi party, and offers compelling insights into Nazi Germany and the end of the Third Reich. Robinson’s honesty, courage, and intelligence are crucial in coming to grips with questions of individual responsibility and collective guilt.”
—Helen Fremont, author of The Escape Artist and After Long Silence

“A fascinating and admirably honest account of a woman’s journey to reconcile her love for her grandfather with his membership of the Nazi party . . . This is a must-read for anyone interested in the German experience during WWII.”
—Ariana Neumann, author of When Time Stopped

“Robinson has written a riveting account of the journey of discovery she made in order to come to terms with a much-loved grandfather, whom she discovered long after his death to have been a card-carrying member of the Nazi Party.”
—Giles MacDonogh, British historian and author of After the Reich

“Robinson’s account of the war years, and living in bombed out ruins, are riveting . . . The book adds to our slowly accumulating knowledge of that the war looked like from ‘the other side’ and takes its place beside books like Sebalds’s On the Natural History of Destruction and Beevor’s The Fall of Berlin 1945.”
—Notre Dame Review​

“Robinson's story brings up questions in my own life. What would I do if I were confronted with a situation that is obviously wrong and possibly evil? How would I feel about a member of my own family who played such a questionable role during such a dark period of history? I don’t have an answer to these questions. I have compassion for Gabrielle Robinson’s struggle to understand her grandfather’s life. This is not a book I will forget any time soon. The story and the questions stay with me.”
—Story Circle Book Reviews

“What makes the memoir a good read is the honesty of the author when it comes to sharing the story of her grandfather and her physical shock at finding out he was a member of the Nazi party. This memoir is a good way of giving readers information about the German people’s experiences during World War II, and the author’s attempt to understand her grandfather and his life during Nazi Germany.”
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